Life after love: DEALING WITH A BREAK UP

So, he dumped you over some hottie with jessica simpson proportions and an IQ of a 7 year old. Tragic... But then... Life goes on. Relationships come and go and you can't always expect each and every one of them to end in a happy note. A break up, is after all a break up. And there's absolutely nothing to smile about when the one who swept you off your feet a couple of months ago will just drop you like a hot burito for a fresher piece of meat. But then, as my friends always say... There's more to life. But in the mean time, while you're going through this whole emotional turbulence after being kicked to the curb, here are some activities guaranteed to somehow... Ease the pain while you're "detoxifying" yourself... Though they're never guaranteed to get him back or maybe, get back at him, atleast it lessens the pain, somehow.

1. Cry it out.

Stop acting like a toughie for a second and let it all out. NOthing's wrong with grieving over a death of a "wonderful" (sic) relationship. I cry when I one of my puppies die. Don't hold back the tears. Crying is therapeutic as it releases the tension and stress a break up puts on you. You see, this is one of the perks for being a woman. We have the privilege to let it out and let loose while they have to tough it up and hold it in. Ever wonder why we live longer than they do? Vent it out. But don't run around like a headless chicken or you'd end up looking like the psycho ex girlfriend. Have some friends over or talk to your mom and let it all out. YOu'll feel much better afterwards.

2. Take a shower

This has been tested and proven by yours truly. Hit the showers and shampoo your hair. Try imagining that you're washing him out of your psyche. Believe me, it works like a charm (if there's any consolation).

3. Splurgefest

Ditch the diet for a while and go crazy with carbs and ice cream and chocolates. Invite some friends over if you wish. After all, misery loves company. Sulking is never fun without food involved. I read somewhere that the food that makes you happy when you were a kid will also be the same food you'll be craving when situations like these arise. No wonder we call ice cream and chocolates THE best comfort food. Have a movie marathon and a "bash your ex" gab fest.

Here's one of my favorite recipes:

MICROWAVE S'MORES

graham crackers

marshmallows

2 bars if hershey's milk chocolate or dark chocolate

Top off a graham cracker with 4 blocks of Hershey's chocolate. Add 2 marshmallows. Top it off with another graham cracker. Make atleast 3 more sandwiches and pop it in a microwave oven for 30 seconds or until chocolate i s a bit soft and the marshmallow is a bit puffy. Put it in the fridge for about 30 minutes and enjoy with a glass of milk and a scary movie.

4. Have a support group

Whether it's your mom, your sister or your BFF's, it's comforting to have the people who have your ass when the going gets tough. Have a pal or two to call on when you're feeling a bit low.

5. Give yourself a break

Spend some time with yourself. File for a 3 day vacation leave and hit the beach. Take a breather. Recharge on the energy lost while sulking and scrutinizing the relationship carcass. Detoxify yourself with a calming massage or maybe a quick trip to the spa.

4. Change your environment... a bit

Break away from the usual routine and the usual crowd you hung out together when you were a couple. Nothing keeps you in the post break up loop than being with the same people and doing the same things. Meet new friends. Develop a new hobby. If you were used to playing badminton with your ex and his friends, why not delve into other sports like martial arts or basketball? Or discover new places to hang out. Chances are, you'll not only meet new friends but you might chance up on a date with a brand new hottie.

5. Until you're all over it, NEVER WATCH SAPPY LOVE STORIES. I don't think this needs explanation.

6. STAY AWAY FROM COUPLES.

Nothing makes post breakup sound like torture than being with 2 very much inlove couples. It's either they piss you off with their lovey dovey antics or you piss them off with being such a bitter wet blanket.

Hang out with other singles and expand your network, whether it be rekindling an old friendship or meeting new ones.

7. DO NOT TRY TO BE HIS FRIEND

What hurts more than unrequited love is being with him even if you know you're not getting anything out of it than another possible heart break. If you keep seein him, you're only headed for another crash-and-burn episode. It's never really relieving when your feelings arent reciprocated. Now, this is a common mistake "dumpees" do. Many "dumpees" feel that if they spend time with the "dumper", he/she will realize their true feelings and they will get back together. (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5735/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.html)

But stuff like that only happens in the movies. And if it is possible, what are the odds? Slim. Put out all hopes that you'll ever get back with him.

It's perfectly okay to be friends with your ex... But as long as you're still lamenting over the break up, maybe taking a raincheck on that for the moment would be a better idea.

Right now, delete his number, throw away the mementos to avoid reminiscing. Give away the stuff toys and teddy bears he gave you to the needy and burn his letters. Nothing makes getting a head start than burning evidences of a tragic past. He'll understand later on. And the last thing you need right now is to make a fool out of yourself drunk dialing his number by "accident".

8. Find other ways to vent out rather than sulking

When I broke up with my ex back in college, I found playing the piano rather therapeutic. It helped me release all the hurt and frustration I felt during the break up.

I also found writing a journal or letters to him helpul. I didn't need to bug someone at 3 am in the morning just to vent out as I am already letting it out through pen and paper. Writing, whether it be on a journal or a letter helps you verbalize how you feel and why it all ended the way it did. Just don't think about sending it to him alright? Keep it and reread it just to see how far you've come since then or burn it and forget about it.

9. Improve on yourself

Hit the gym. Go on a diet if you may. Live healthy. Concentrate on making a better you. Do things you weren't able to do when you were with him. Oftentimes, you yourself becomes neglected when you're in a relationship with someone so make this a time to spend your money and well.. time for Number 1: YOU. Overhaul yourself. Reward yourself with a makeover and a shopping spree. Pamper yourself.

And it's not all about getting back at him or getting him back. It's all about loving yourself once again, because you'll never be ready to love someone unless you learn to love yourself again.